Conversations on Gender
Lately, I have been having more and more conversations with friends and family regarding gender, sparked, in part by the #MeToo movement and my enrollment in this course. Considering everything occurring in the world today, it is about time we talk about this and other sensitive topics. Having conversations like this is how we can work towards change in the world.
Respond. When you're finished listening and understanding, it's time to respond. My recent conversations taught me that sometimes it's what you say AND how you say it. Provide your views and input in a way that doesn't compromise your views and also doesn't disrespect the points and counterpoints made. Avoid making things personal or automatically assuming something in the worst possible way. While you may not change the way someone thinks in one conversation, you may be able to get someone to think about your points of view in their quiet moments after it. We just have to be patient with one another when having discussions on sensitive topics, in this case, gender, and gender equality.
What I learned from all of these conversations is that they take work and it's important to listen, understand, and respond to make them fruitful. These are the key values I took away from my conversations.
Listen. I realize that not everyone holds my progressive views on women and gender. For example, talking with my parents made me realize that they are not as progressive as most of us in Generation Z. However, they are clearly aware of the inequality of women in society and the inequity of historic gender roles. Others I talked to have opposite views as me. In those conversations, I have heard claims such as, “I don’t understand how gender is that important to talk about” or, “people are making a big deal out of nothing” or, “the gender pay gap is a myth, women should just work harder and take care of their children.” It can be quite difficult to talk to these people. However, to have a healthy discussion, we must be open to others' ideas and opinions to better understand them. Oftentimes, people without progressive views about women do not completely understand the oppression women face because they do not experience it themselves. It's not their reality. Listening to the "why" of their beliefs allows me to better understand and educate them. Just because something does not affect them specifically, that does not mean it does not exist or they can't be supportive of the effect it has on others.
Understand. Something to keep in mind while having a discussion is differences exist between us. Our unique experiences make us who we are. Triumphs and failures shape a person and their worldview. Different generations were raised at different times, with different atmospheres and social norms. It makes it harder for older generations to understand where we are coming from in today's dynamic world. We must acknowledge these differences and find ways to bridge the seeming gap to find common ground. I do this by trying to withhold judgment while I learn about someone's view, like my Father's, which doesn't always align with mine.
Listen. I realize that not everyone holds my progressive views on women and gender. For example, talking with my parents made me realize that they are not as progressive as most of us in Generation Z. However, they are clearly aware of the inequality of women in society and the inequity of historic gender roles. Others I talked to have opposite views as me. In those conversations, I have heard claims such as, “I don’t understand how gender is that important to talk about” or, “people are making a big deal out of nothing” or, “the gender pay gap is a myth, women should just work harder and take care of their children.” It can be quite difficult to talk to these people. However, to have a healthy discussion, we must be open to others' ideas and opinions to better understand them. Oftentimes, people without progressive views about women do not completely understand the oppression women face because they do not experience it themselves. It's not their reality. Listening to the "why" of their beliefs allows me to better understand and educate them. Just because something does not affect them specifically, that does not mean it does not exist or they can't be supportive of the effect it has on others.
Understand. Something to keep in mind while having a discussion is differences exist between us. Our unique experiences make us who we are. Triumphs and failures shape a person and their worldview. Different generations were raised at different times, with different atmospheres and social norms. It makes it harder for older generations to understand where we are coming from in today's dynamic world. We must acknowledge these differences and find ways to bridge the seeming gap to find common ground. I do this by trying to withhold judgment while I learn about someone's view, like my Father's, which doesn't always align with mine.
Respond. When you're finished listening and understanding, it's time to respond. My recent conversations taught me that sometimes it's what you say AND how you say it. Provide your views and input in a way that doesn't compromise your views and also doesn't disrespect the points and counterpoints made. Avoid making things personal or automatically assuming something in the worst possible way. While you may not change the way someone thinks in one conversation, you may be able to get someone to think about your points of view in their quiet moments after it. We just have to be patient with one another when having discussions on sensitive topics, in this case, gender, and gender equality.
My recent conversations on gender gave me insight into others' views, sometimes inconsistent with my own. But, they taught me these values that I will continue to incorporate in future discussions on the topic.
"It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it."
-Joseph Joubert
I have also been having a lot of conversations lately with family and friends about gender as well as other important social and political issues. I agree with how important it is to make sure that you listen to other people and respectfully and thoughtfully respond. It can be frustrating when people don't hold the same views as us but those conversations are still vital.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you've structured this post, advising the readers on how to go about gaining insight into other people's viewpoints. Like you, I have also experienced my family's opinions clashing with mine and often times I end up getting frustrated with them and simply ending the conversation. However upon reading about your own experiences, and how we should deal with differing opinions, I've realized that maybe I need focus less on trying to get my own point across and more on listening/understanding why somebody else thinks a certain way. Thank you for providing me with this information, and I will be sure to use it the next time I have an important, thought-provoking conversation!
ReplyDeleteI love the points you've brought up in this post. I think really important to keep these steps in mind, especially in modern day and time. I feel our generation (GenZ) has developed such a strong "cancel culture" that if you seem to have any differing opinion than what is the "norm", you are automatically hated upon and shamed. An example of this is strongly tied to the presidential election. On social media, many young teens/adults may show support of Trump and are immediately met with thousands of hate comments and jeers about their appearance, beliefs, etc. While I definitely don't support Trump in any way, I think instead of jumping to criticize someone's whole life, it's important to keep these steps in mind and really understand why they support the things they do. Oftentimes, teens receive their political views from the way they were raised and base it off their parents' views which don't necessarily align with their own. Sometimes, they really just need to be educated in a respectful, non-attacking manner in order to also understand your point of view!
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